Mourning the Loss of Helen Ryde

Reconciling family – right now, I’d like you to clasp your hands like I’m holding yours. I have heartbreaking news to share with you, and I wish I could do this with you in person. On the morning of Tuesday, September 2nd, Helen Ryde died unexpectedly in their home.

For 13 years, Helen worked tirelessly through RMN for LGBTQ+ justice and inclusion in The United Methodist Church and beyond. For most of those years, they were an Organizer, with a deep faith in God’s transformative power and the skills needed to partner with God in this way. 

I mourn because Helen had so much left to do – not just through their role at RMN but in the love they had yet to receive and give, their compassion and thoughtfulness, their authenticity and courage. Helen had the rare ability to accept all kinds of people in their multitudes.

In their community, they were a stalwart friend to people marginalized by oppression. They were uniquely courageous – in spite of or perhaps because of the harm they experienced at the Church’s hand. In a world where we too often segregate ourselves by our convictions, Helen Ryde forded the waters with grace time and again.

All this persistence, all this generosity, paid off at the 2024 General Conference. As a delegate and co-convener of the Queer Delegate Caucus, and through over a decade of grassroots organizing, they were a key leader in the transformation of our denomination. And they knew that much more had yet to be done. They additionally served as Secretary for the General Board of Church & Society and on the Racial Audit team of the Methodist Federation for Social Action. 

Please pray with me for their wife Kate, whom they affectionately called Mrs. Lovely; they were together for over 25 years, never short on love or adventure. Pray also for Helen’s mother, their sister and two nieces, and their stepmother, stepsister, and stepbrothers. 

My prayers also go out to you, beloved, as I know our Church and our world have been made better because of Helen. There’s hardly a corner of the Church that their wisdom and dedication didn’t touch. It may have been your heart or your church changed by Helen’s love. You may be serving an appointment made possible by the advocacy of saints like Helen. You may have been open-minded and dipped your French toast sticks in ketchup, as Helen assured us was a perfectly normal British thing to do.

Earlier this year, Helen and Kate (and dear friends Robin and Bishop Karen) traversed the Camino Portgués – a 180-mile portion of el Camino del Santiago. For Helen, this was a pilgrimage of faith and friendship. Every day presented another opportunity to encounter the Divine in the face of another.

My hope is that each of us can reflect on the constellation of gifts Helen embodied. Perhaps in their honor, we each shoulder a part of their legacy. The Way is a journey, Helen knew well, and not a destination. Undoubtedly, we’ll see their footprints on the road ahead.

Yours,

Jan Lawrence (she/her)

Executive Director, Reconciling Ministries Network