Proud Asian Mother of a Transgender Son

As we leave API Heritage and Mother’s Day month and enter Pride month, I wanted to share an article I wrote called I am a Japanese American mother and a fierce advocate for my transgender son, which was first published for Thomson Reuters Foundation last week. It highlights the intersections of two things I am so proud of: being the mother of a transgender son and being Asian.

I am also so proud to have written about my amazing journey with Aiden in Two Spirits, One Heart. It has not been an easy journey, and it includes rejection from the local church we were attending. But this is the path I have chosen in order to show Aiden that I will always love him and our family will never leave his side.

This is why Reconciling Ministries Network is so important to families like ours. Where we once thought we were not worthy of God’s love, we know there are churches that are inclusive, loving and welcoming, to all.

I saw my baby girl for the first time in a photo that came from Japan. Three months later, on Labor Day 1988, I held her in my arms. She was all I dreamed she would be and, although she didn’t come out of my body, that day she was born out of my heart. I loved her completely, imagining the life that we would share together.

However, what I have discovered on my journey is our children come to us with their own roadmap. And so my life became a series of moments that were both frightening and empowering, challenging and celebratory.

My little girl never felt like a girl. She was a happy, social, joyful tomboy. But a dark cloud covered her middle school years, as she struggled with her gender identity. Coming out as lesbian in high school did not change the darkness that surrounded her. Instead, it brought a larger shroud of blackness filled with cruelty and abuse. Suicidal thoughts entered her life.

Five years later, she found a tiny flicker of hope. It was one word: transgender. That hope became her guiding light and transition became a word that offered her a way to finally feel whole.

But, as my child struggled, I struggled as her mother. At each coming out, I was thrown into my own despair. I felt ashamed of being a bad mother and I feared for my child’s life. But I listened to my heart and listened to my child Aiden. Then, I looked for places that would provide answers.

I first discovered PFLAG, a U.S. organization that supports, educates and advocates for families of LGBT+ people, like mine. It showed me what could be possible and gave me resources to dispel my fear. Then the Family Acceptance Project (FAP) gave me research-based information on creating a positive and supportive environment for my child.

Today I am no longer a quiet, Asian mother, but a fierce advocate for the Asian LGBT+ community. I co-founded the first PFLAG Chapter supporting the Asian Pacific Islander community. I started a Japanese and Japanese American LGBT+ group, Okaeri, which means “welcome home” in Japanese. At Okaeri, Aiden says the intersection of his Japanese and trans identities are seen and valued. He truly feels welcomed home.

Meanwhile, this month, the Family Acceptance Project is releasing Asian language versions of one of their groundbreaking resources. For a parent to have access to information in their first or primary language, particularly in Asian communities where it is rare or non-existent, will be invaluable.

But our work is far from over. At the moment, there are 34 states trying to legislate how trans children can participate in sports and 22 states where gender-affirming medical care for minors could be banned or restricted, according to Freedom For All Americans.

Not being able to play sports in the gender they identify with or have access to medical treatment that they so desperately need, will affect trans youth already disproportionately plagued by depression and suicidal thoughts.

In addition, Asian Americans are being targeted and so I worry about Aiden now being attacked for being both trans and Asian.

When I mentioned this to him, he responded, “But mom they are hurting people like you: women and older people.” Now, not only does he have to be vigilant for himself, he also must be concerned about me.

So, what can one person do to change the trajectory of all that is happening in communities of color or in the transgender community? We can call and write to our legislators. We can support organizations who are speaking up for us. And we can educate ourselves, so we can educate others.

My son is alive today, not just because I stood beside him, but because those who did not know him stood up for him.

I don’t want others to judge him because he is trans, adopted, or Asian. I want people to look into his beautiful, amazing heart and say, “This is a person who is making the world a better place.”

In honor of the wonderful work being done at Reconciling Ministries Network, Aiden and I would love to donate two signed copies of our book to Reconciling United Methodists.

On June 27th, we will be doing a talk and conversation with RMN at 7pm ET | 4pm PT. Two registered attendants will be randomly selected to receive a signed copy of our book.

If you’d like to read more of our story ahead of the event, you can find the book at Bookshop.org or on Amazon.

I hope you will join us as we share our story – both the beautiful and heartbreaking, the hurt and the healing – but mostly how we have been strengthened by our journey so that we live today in more joy, pride, hope, and gratitude.

About the Author

Marsha Aizumi is an educational consultant, national speaker, and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. Her greatest passions are creating nurturing and healing spaces for the Asian Pacific Islander (API) LGBTQ+ community, as well as supporting all families toward greater acceptance and love for their LGBTQ+ children. Her greatest joy is spending time with her family: cooking together, eating good food, working on puzzles or hearing all the wonderful things going on in their lives. She has two sons and one daughter-in-law and has been married to Tad for 48 years.

Marsha also serves on the National Board of PFLAG, the PFLAG National Diversity and Inclusion Committee, has co-founded both PFLAG SGV API, and Okaeri: A Nikkei LGBTQ+ Community. You can visit Marsha online.

Disability activists first used this phrase in its English form1 during a decades-long battle from the time of the Civil Rights movement up until the 1990s for legislation against discrimination in employment and education on the basis of disability. That battle led to the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).

Thirty-one years after the ADA’s passage, many disabled people are still left out of discussions regarding their lives, and this could not be truer of neurodivergent individuals, which include the Autistic, ADD, and Dyslexic communities, among others. Indeed, the Autistic community has so frequently been talked over by the medical community and larger world that the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) has adopted “nothing about us without us” as its motto.

The Double Rainbow

Iam a Reconciling United Methodist who exists under the double rainbow of being queer and neurodivergent. I am diagnosed as having ADD, and am likely also an Autistic person who has not received a medical diagnosis as such. At that intersection, I experience an otherness in the world and the Church, doubly longing to be accepted and celebrated for all of who I am and doubly lamenting that many will not accept me for either my romantic orientation or my neurotype.

My neurodivergence is a part of me as much as my queerness is: something that I celebrate as a beautiful gift from God that makes me unique, and a testament to the diversity of how human brains can be structured. Yet I long for my Church to be more just toward neurodivergent people and to stand behind us as we seek justice for ourselves in the world.

If the Church is to truly love and affirm each individual, it should also celebrate the diversity in human neurotypes and affirm those whose neurotypes are non-typical. As the Reconciling movement benefits from the language, scholarship, activism, and allyship of the disabled community, I call on it to intentionally make space for, listen to, and respect its Autistic and otherwise-neurodivergent members in every part of the Church community, up to its leadership.

LGBTQ people share many of the societal obstacles to acceptance, safety, and economic stability that disabled people face. Neurodivergent people participate in, and are essential to, the work of every piece of the Reconciling community. They are also just as likely to be LGBTQ-identified as the majority of the human population. Yet the LGBTQ community is largely unaware of its kinship with the neurodivergent community in its struggle for acceptance and control of its own narrative. While LGBTQ people slowly gain affirmation, neurodivergent voices, especially Autistic ones, are still heavily stigmatized and silenced. This community that shares so much of the same oppressive weight of white ableist heteropatriarchy with the LGBTQ community, and has lent so much of its own voice to LGBTQ liberation, needs and deserves the support of its LGBTQ siblings in its own liberation.

Natural Allies

To be neurodivergent means to experience first-hand the broad societal rejection known by so many LGBTQ people in our families, places of employment, and churches. That rejection is compounded for many neurodivergent people who are also LGBTQ. Our common experiences create the opportunity for a natural allyship between our two communities, if only the LGBTQ community were more aware and accepting of its neurodivergent siblings.

Among the parallels that both neurodivergent and LGBTQ communities experience is the tendency for others to speak about us rather than listen to us. Non-LGBTQ people have characterized LGBTQ people as immoral, criminal, or disordered based on little acquaintance with actual queer people.

In fact, the original developer of the anti-Autistic “therapy” Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) was also the developer of a type of anti-gay conversion therapy.

Similarly, neurodivergent people are regularly maligned and talked over. This is especially true for the Autistic community, of whom harmful stereotypes and ideas are abundant. The loudest voices that talk about Autistic people are usually non-Autistic people. This is not for lack of a vocal Autistic community trying to be heard. Rather, Autistic voices are outcompeted by wealthy organizations that, combined with well-meaning medical staff and parents, speak over the majority of Autistic voices asking for different language labels, different symbolic representation, and an end to harmful medical practices.

One of the sadder experiences shared by both communities is that of being pathologized and subjected to harmful treatments by the medical community. The LGBTQ community knows the harm done by conversion therapy by its many different names. Members of the Autistic community still experience some of the same treatments that have been debunked and even outlawed in some places for use on LGBTQ people3. In fact, the original developer of the anti-Autistic “therapy” Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) was also the developer of a type of anti-gay conversion therapy. His name was Ivar Lovaas. The PTSD observed in children subjected to ABA is also similar to that seen in survivors of anti-gay conversion therapy. ABA is still widely accepted by the medical community despite efforts by Autistic activists and allies to end the practice.

Even when neurodivergent people are not directly harmed by misguided medical practice, we are still commonly excluded from employment and social support networks – a challenge known well by our LGBTQ siblings.

Discrimination in the Church

If you live in the U.S. and there are more than 45 adults in your church, there is likely at least one Autistic adult there. This is based on numbers from the Centers for Disease Control in 2020, which estimated how common Autistic people are in the adult population of the United States.

Unfortunately, Autistic people are less represented in church leadership because our sensory needs and communication styles tend to lead neurotypical church leaders to assume that we are not competent for leadership roles. This leads neurotypical church leaders to exclude Autistic people from lay leadership all the way up to clergy certification and placement. The pain of exclusion from full participation in spiritual community is one that Reconciling neurodivergent people know on a deep level. We join our LGBTQ siblings in repeatedly calling for those discriminatory barriers to end.

But Isn’t Autism a Disorder?

Many Autistic advocates support a view of autism that doesn’t regard it as a disorder at all, but rather, a normal variation in human brain structure – just as queerness is a normal variation in human romantic and sexual experience and Deafness is a normal variation in human auditory system structure.

The intersections of queerness and neurodivergence run too deep to be ignored, and the two communities share so much of our struggles, language, and membership.

Autism is a disability in most contexts, but disability is simply a social construction in which attitudes, systems, and communication barriers pose challenges for a person with specific traits to achieve their desired functionality in their context. This way of interpreting disability is reflected in what’s known as the social model of disability, which focuses on the societal role of systemically disabling individuals and the need for society to change itself. That contrasts sharply with the medical model, which focuses on the individual’s need to change themselves in order to conform to society.

As my LGBTQ family in the Church borrows the language and advocacy of the disabled community, I call on it to make room for and elevate the voices of my neurodivergent family by centering our voices in conversations about us, respecting our language choices, squashing hatred against us, and ensuring that we are fully included in the Church. The intersections of queerness and neurodivergence run too deep to be ignored, and the two communities share so much of our struggles, language, and membership. As children of God seeking the Kin-dom together in love, we must support each other in liberation.

How the Reconciling Movement Can Practice Better Allyship to Neurodivergent People

As an LGBTQ United Methodist, I give thanks for the Reconciling movement and its insistence on centering the narrative about LGBTQ people on LGBTQ voices. This approach provides a framework that Reconciling United Methodists can easily apply to becoming better allies to our neurodivergent siblings. The key elements of neurotypical allyship are similar to allyship techniques with which Reconciling Methodists are already familiar:

Prioritize neurodivergent voices on the topic of neurodivergence

If someone claims to have information about autism to impart, including a parent of an Autistic child or a medical professional, find out if actual Autistic people agree. Try hashtags like #actuallyautistic or #askingautistics, or check out resources produced by the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) or the Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network (AWN).

Sharing and amplifying what we say is even better. Additionally, j ust as you should respect each person’s opinion but wouldn’t take the opinion of a single member of another minority group as a reason to discount the preferences of the majority of that community, a single Autistic person’s opinion is not a valid reason to negate the wishes of the majority of the Autistic community.

Respect our chosen language

While I believe that the insistence of many neurotypical people on using language such as “person with Autism” and “on the spectrum” to describe us is well-meaning, the majority of the community by any survey one might find have expressed a desire to be referred to as a group as “Autistic.”

When neurotypical people insist on labeling us with other language, it ignores our right to choose the labels we want for ourselves and contributes to the pathologizing of Autistic people.

For LGBTQ people, using our chosen names and pronouns shows respect for our knowledge of our own lives. To use other names or pronouns is harmful. It is similarly harmful to neurodivergent people when neurotypical people insist on describing us in ways that we have not chosen. While some individuals do prefer to be referred to as “people with autism,” and you should ask each person what they prefer, you should generally use “Autistic” for groups or the community, as that is the preference of the majority.

Include us in all parts of church life, including leadership

Think about who has not been invited to take part in leadership of your church. If a neurodivergent person has not been offered a leadership role while neurotypical people have, your church might be passively excluding neurodivergent individuals. Follow all of the normal processes for inviting neurodivergent people into leadership, which may include finding out what accommodations they need to feel comfortable in a leadership role.

Avoid hate groups and symbols

Hate groups are sadly common. I could write a whole blog post about the harm perpetuated by organizations like Autism Speaks and the symbols associated with them (such as the puzzle piece and “Light It Up Blue.”) These symbols may seem innocuous, but they represent a long history of neurotypical people labeling and pathologizing autism while ignoring the needs, wishes, autonomy, and dignity of Autistic people.

Instead, educate yourself with Autistic-written resources such as the ones mentioned above. If you want to use symbols of support for neurodivergent people, use those chosen by the neurodivergent and Autistic communities to promote acceptance, such as the rainbow infinity sign, “red instead,” and “light it up gold.”

Footnotes

  1. The disability activist community likely adopted the term from similar mantras in other languages belonging to democratic movements in Poland and Hungary.
  2. It’s common for women and other gender minorities to be undiagnosed until late in life. Because financial and social barriers to diagnosis are so great, the Autistic community generally doesn’t distinguish between medical diagnosis and self-diagnosis with respect to the right to claim an Autistic identity.
  3. It was only last year that electric shocks became illegal for use in aversion therapy on Autistic children. They were in use by at least one institution as of that date.
About the Author

Lucia D’Angelo (she/her) is a member of a Reconciling United Methodist Church who counts among her intersecting identities both queerness and neurodivergence. She is passionate about educating her community on the intersections of the intricately interconnected social justice movements. If she could meet anyone, living or dead, she would meet want to meet Emma Lazarus.

Across the United States, anti-trans legislation is threatening God’s beloved children. A wave of cruel legislation is threatening trans existence by seeking to remove healthcare access, full inclusion in schools, use of public facilities, and more. This rash of legislation exists because fearful Christians are using trans people as a political and religious scapegoat.

Trans people already face heightened levels of discrimination and violence. As Reconciling United Methodists – people of faith committed to the affirmation and inclusion of God’s LGBTQ children – we have a spiritual obligation to speak out.

On this page, we’ve included example language for:

  1. Calling your state legislators’ offices
  2. A letter to the editor for your local newspapers
  3. An op-ed for your local newspapers

You’ll see that some language is repeated in these three pieces.

Please feel free to use this language or to adapt it for your use. This language exists to help you, but we encourage you to make it your own if you’d prefer that.

Engage your Reconciling Church or Community to call in or write in with you! Our power is in our numbers, our voices, and our prayers.

To learn about anti-trans legislation in your state, click here.

If you have any questions about how to get in touch with your state legislators, leave a comment and we’ll be glad to help.

Call Script

Hi [staff-person’s name]. My name is [name] and I’m calling from [town, state] and am a constituent of [legislator]. I am a Christian, and I’m appalled by [bill #] and calling on [legislator] to OPPOSE this bill.

I understand that transgender people, and transgender children in particular, have become a political punching bag, when instead, they should be treated as God’s beloved and holy children.

As a Christian [add any qualifiers here, including if you are clergy or serving a church in another way], I am impelled by the example of Jesus to treat all persons with love and dignity but to especially care for those who are marginalized by religious establishment and society. Today, transgender children are marginalized by religious establishment and society. They are outcast from simple growing-up experiences we want all of our children to have: the chance to participate fairly in sports, the promise of dignifying healthcare, the right to use a safe bathroom, and more.

[If speaking to a staff-person]

Do you know how [legislator] plans to vote on this bill? Can we count on them to oppose this bill?

[Wait for response.]

Thank you for taking this call and passing my remarks along to [legislator].

[If leaving a message]

Thank you for taking my call and passing my remarks along to [legislator].

Letter to the editor

I am a person of faith appalled by [bill #] and calling on the legislature of [state] to oppose this bill. [Bill #] is designed to [what is the purpose of the bill? Be specific.]

[Bill #] was introduced [date or number of weeks/months ago] in the same spirit in which other anti-trans bills have been introduced around the country. Transgender people, and transgender children in particular, have become a political punching bag, when instead, they should be treated as God’s beloved and holy children.

As a Christian [add any qualifiers here, including if you are clergy or serving a church in another way], I am impelled by the example of Jesus to treat all persons with love and dignity but to especially care for those who are marginalized by religious establishment and society. Today, transgender children are marginalized by religious establishment and society. They are outcast from simple growing-up experiences we want all of our children to have: the chance to participate fairly in sports, the promise of dignifying healthcare, the right to use a safe bathroom, and more.

While some supporters of anti-trans legislation hope that marginalizing trans people aligns with their religious values, my faith clearly stands against that notion. Our charge as Christians is simple, as told by Jesus according to the Gospel of Mark: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’. There is no commandment greater than these.”

[Your name]

[Your city, your state]

Op-Ed

I am a person of faith appalled by [bill #] and calling on the legislature of [state] to oppose this bill. [Bill #] is designed to [what is the purpose of the bill? Be specific.]

[Bill #] was introduced [date or number of weeks/months ago] in the same spirit in which other anti-trans bills have been introduced around the country. Transgender people, and transgender children in particular, have become a political punching bag, when instead, they should be treated as God’s beloved and holy children.

As a Christian [add any qualifiers here, including if you are clergy or serving a church in another way], I am impelled by the example of Jesus to treat all persons with love and dignity but to especially care for those who are marginalized by religious establishment and society. Today, transgender children are marginalized by religious establishment and society. They are outcast from simple growing-up experiences we want all of our children to have: the chance to participate fairly in sports, the promise of dignifying healthcare, the right to use a safe bathroom, and more.

[If you have a personal story about why trans justice is so important to you, this is the paragraph in which to write it. Do not write about any particular person with any identifying information unless you have their explicit permission to write about them in this context.]

It is possible that [bill #] was introduced by legislators that had good intentions about the safety of vulnerable individuals and about religious freedom. But our fear for girls’ safety in public spaces is not about trans people, who are often the victims of violence and rarely the perpetrators of violence. Rather, that fear is about the behavior of men. If we wish to keep girls safe, we must address misogyny and gendered violence perpetrated by men, not the fantasy that trans people are violent. Research consistently shows that trans people are up to four times more likely to be victimized by violent crime. Legislation and public discourse that pathologize transgender people only make them more vulnerable to violence. If we are serious about protecting vulnerable people – especially vulnerable children – then we must be willing to believe trans people about who they are and treat them with the same dignity and consideration we’d give to cisgender people.

Additionally, freedom of religious expression is a red herring. Christians like me are not a persecuted minority. We are a people having to reckon with a nation that is changing and that demands the nimbleness and adaptability of our faith. Our charge as Christians is simple, as told by Jesus according to the Gospel of Mark: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’. There is no commandment greater than these.”

I suggest that those of us who are Christians get to work doing just that.

Additional Resources

Guide for Journalists: Reporting On Anti-Trans State Legislation (GLAAD)

Talking about Family Acceptance & Transgender Youth (Movement Advancement Project)

Talking about Transgender Students & School Facilities Access (Movement Advancement Project)

Talking about Transgender Youth Participation in Sports (Movement Advancement Project)

Last week, as an open and unapologetic queer man, I sat unabashedly before the Vermillion River District Committee on Ordained Ministry. Over the course of my interview, I connected with ordained individuals with a breadth and depth of experience that I could not fathom. I responded to questions about my faith, theology, calling, contemplative life, and also, my sexuality.

At the end of the interview, one of the cisgender, heterosexual, middle-aged men turned to me and said: “You know Isaac, I see a lot of myself in you. I, too, was stepping into a denomination that was broken and needed fixing. I was just fighting for [a different issue] then.”

In that truly spirit-filled moment of vulnerability and honesty, my call and my existence was affirmed.

I thanked the men for their time. I was ushered out of the room, down a hallway, and seated in a small cafe. There, as the committee deliberated my calling to the IGRC, I waited in anxiety and hope. I waited in fear and strength. I waited embracing the unknown the only way I knew how: in prayer. I folded my hands, closed my eyes, and attempted to speak with the divine Source of equity…

“Oh Formless One, Creator of all, ever-flowing Spirit of Justice, please – please let them see me for who I am. Please let them see me for what I have done. For what I can do. My Parent almighty, Teacher of tomorrow, dwell with me in this moment. Assure me of your love, your Grace, and your mercy.”

With a unanimous vote, I was certified for candidacy in The United Methodist Church. This vote made history. Not only was I the first openly gay man to be certified within the Illinois Great Rivers Conference, but I was also the first drag queen to be certified (to my knowledge) in United Methodist history.

The art of drag and gender performance allows me access to new conversations, new ideas, and incredible new ways of doing and being the Church.

But within hours of the official filing, major conservative news media, including the Institute on Religion and Democracy, began circulating videos of me in drag leading prayers. These were accompanied with articles and blogs declaring my existence as incompatible with The United Methodist Church. I was attacked for dressing in drag. I was attacked for being queer. I was attacked for praying the way that I did. (What I should have been attacked for was my less-than-great eye makeup.)

Ordained clergy and laity alike deemed me to be “the anti-Christ”, the “spawn of Satan”, a “pedophiliac whore”, and my favorite: “a bad copy of Jack Lemmon’s performance in Some Like It Hot.”

All jokes aside, in several instances, people implied that I would be better off dead so as to not to become a herald of hell.

To say that my certification as a candidate for ordained ministry has led to a national uproar within The UMC would be an understatement.

This turmoil has come at a time when The UMC is undergoing a fight for LGBTQIA+ inclusion. That inclusion – that affirmation of love – is exactly what I hope to inspire as a drag queen and as a minister. I chose my name, Ms. Penny Cost, because like in the biblical story, the Holy Spirit is moving in new ways today. It is allowing us to reach folks who have been told they are unknowable, unreachable, and unholy. The art of drag and gender performance allows me access to new conversations, new ideas, and incredible new ways of doing and being the Church. Drag has allowed me to process my own understanding of a formless and genderless God. It has drawn me closer and it has drawn me deeper.

No matter what has been spoken over you by toxic theologians, mistranslated passages, or evangelists gone bad, let it be known that God has spoken the word of life and love over you.

As Isaiah writes, “I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:19).

They-dies and gentle-thems: we are walking in the wilderness of an unknown future: an unknown institution is about to be created. God, Them-self, is giving us new ways of loving and existing within it. The time that we live in is filled with new possibilities.

For the LGBTQIA+ individuals reading this: know that I see you, that God sees you, and the Spirit dwells within you. You are made in the image of God, and you are enough simply by existing.

No matter what has been spoken over you by toxic theologians, mistranslated passages, or evangelists gone bad, let it be known that God has spoken the word of life and love over you. Love shall overcome all. It becomes tangible through acts of kindness, through vulnerable moments, and through active ally-ship. I pray that one day, someone with far less privilege than I, as a cisgender and white man, will be able to rise above the space which I occupy with less pushback and less heartache.

I don my drag today so that tomorrow, all may exist without fear, without hate, and without debate. Liberation comes through collective steps toward effective change.

To those who claim allyship with and for the LGBTQIA+ community: I challenge you to do so not just with thoughts and prayers but with pen and paper, wallet and checkbook, vote and volunteerism.

Write to your church leaders, help to educate those around you, and reach out to those who have been harmed by the institutions we are a part of: not to evangelize them, but to simply support without motive. The United Methodist Church seeks to make disciples of Christ for the world. What better way to do so than by listening and doing as Christ would.

With so much Love and Hope,
Ms. Penny Cost

About the Author

Isaac (He/Him/His) is a 23 year old Drag Queen named Ms. Penny Cost (She/Her/Hers). He is a certified candidate for ordination within the Illinois Great Rivers Conference of the UMC. Currently, Isaac is the Project Coordinator for Hope United Methodist Church: an antiracist, fully affirming, and Drag filled congregation. Passionate in the fields of community development and social equity, Isaac is committed to working across lines of difference to enact change at all levels of the community. It was through his process of coming out as a queer man, that he found a deep love for theological discussion and spiritual formation. Isaac hopes that he may help others realize and experience the love and grace of God that dwells inherently within them.

The recent announcements from the Council of Bishops and the General Commission on the General Conference bring news of justice delayed again. The United Methodist Church must wait until 2022 to properly deliberate the future of the Church and its inclusive nature for LGBTQ people and their allies. Although these are painful decisions that prolong oppression, they were also the only right decisions to make.

To respond faithfully to this moment, we must hold tight.

As a justice-seeking organization, RMN supports equity of global access and deliberation for such critical legislation that determines the future of our Church. We cannot advocate for a rushed deliberative process that further strains local churches engaged in critical ministries during a pandemic, and we cannot advocate for a process that may exclude any part of our connection due to virtual accessibility.

This moment may be an opportunity to step into a future as a global denomination that addresses and heals from past harms and ensures greater equity among United Methodists around the world. To respond faithfully to this moment, we must hold tight. We are, after all, an institution governed by a Book of Discipline, and the only path to a more equitable form of governance is through the one we have right now.

It is okay to be sad and angry. It has been a long two years since the 2019 special session of the General Conference. We have not only faced the denomination’s decision to further exclude and marginalize LGBTQ people, but we are still in the midst of a pandemic that has only exacerbated the existing inequities of our Church. We are a people in desperate need of hope.

During these two years, hope has come by way of the deepening and widening work of the Reconciling movement. RMN is taking bold steps into our future with a renewed focus on intersectional justice and grassroots organizing. We continue this work alongside our partners in the broader Church, and this changing landscape will influence the denomination moving forward.

RMN supports both the Christmas Covenant and the Protocol for Reconciliation and Grace through Separation. We call for a continued moratorium on charges against LGBTQ United Methodist clergy and clergy who perform same-sex weddings, as is the call of the Protocol. These two pieces of legislation complement each other and will be taken up in 2022 when delegates will have a more equitable opportunity to debate and amend them.

For now, we recommend that Reconciling United Methodists discuss these delays with their congregations and in annual conference delegations. Tell the story of why this delay in justice is the most just decision at this point. Work with your congregations and delegations to focus on what we can do now without General Conference action. Focus on the important and upcoming work of Jurisdictional and Annual Conferences this summer. Now is also a great time to join the Rooted & Rising Team from your annual conference and engage in their work to increase the Reconciling presence in your area. Contact your RMN Organizer to learn more.

And, above all: continue to be the Church. Continue to love one another. Continue to do ministry in your area. Continue to pray and to dream and to be.

Dear friends,

I want to take a moment at the end of the year to not only say thank you but to reflect on what RMN was able to accomplish with you this year. I could not be more proud of the RMN team, which has responded to a year like no other with grace, compassion, and a great vision for our future work.

Connection 2020 & General Conference Preparations

We began 2020 on a high note, continuing preparations for General Conference 2020. Both the Christmas Covenant and the Protocol for Reconciliation and Grace were properly before the delegates for consideration. In February, we were uplifted by Connection 2020, readying for the gathering ahead in Minneapolis.

We are deeply grateful for Mark Bowman, Mark Miller, Marcia McFee, and Jorge Lockward, who made the event a profoundly moving experience. At the time, we had no idea how important those few days of fellowship and worship would become.

Dual Pandemics

Then, before I could unpack my suitcase from Connection 2020 and a subsequent trip to First Church in Evanston, IL, we found ourselves in the middle of a global health pandemic unlike anything we’d experienced before. Simultaneously, awareness of white supremacy increased as anti-Black violence erupted and demonstrations took place around the world. As justice seekers, we were reminded of our call to be the Church in renewed and reimagined ways.

At the start of the pandemic and global lock-downs, we quickly pivoted to support Reconciling Churches and be a resource to isolated individuals. Our world, like most people’s, became a virtual one. We began offering a Virtual Porch where folks could congregate to discuss a specific topic of interest to justice seekers. We also organized quarterly worship services for the whole Reconciling family. RMN Organizers began dreaming about different ways to connect with constituents. And, we began to reimagine how we could resource a quickly growing movement.

Rooted & Rising

RMN embarked on deep discernment about who we were called to be in the midst of these pandemics. The result of that discernment was a reclamation of our roots with a focus on intersectional justice. We reaffirmed our existence apart from the General Conference; our mission has never depended on the decisions of the General Conference. While RMN was born out of the 1972 General Conference that codified anti-LGBTQ discrimination, RMN exists to serve the Church and Methodists.

Our discernment included mission and vision work led by a board committee, examining our internal and external commitments to racial justice, and strategizing to support the 8,000+ new RUMs and 300+ Reconciling ministries that have become a part of the network in the last two years.

The result of the discernment is Rooted & Rising, a campaign that was launched in September 2020. In a sense, Rooted & Rising takes us back to our (grass)roots and emphasizes an intentional focus on intersectional justice. I am incredibly proud of the staff for the work that went into Rooted & Rising, and we are all encouraged by the response of the movement to the possibilities that Rooted & Rising holds.

We hope that you will all join us in the Rooted & Rising campaign and in our work going forward by engaging with your Annual Conference or Regional team. You can support our work on an ongoing basis by joining The Wellspring: RMN’s growing community of recurring donors.

As this year comes to a close, we feel immense gratitude for your part in this movement. Through lean and difficult times, we have leaned on the Reconciling family around the world. And in 2021, we have so much good work to do. We would love to have you by our side as we take on the organizing, resourcing, educating, and ahead of us.

Yours,

Jan Lawrence
Executive Director

To give in support of RMN’s critical work in 2021, click here.

Oyani Congregation Votes to Affiliate with Reconciling Ministries Network

CHICAGO – Christ Chapel United Methodist Church (UMC) in Oyani, Kenya, became the second African Reconciling Church to join the global Reconciling movement for LGBTQ justice and inclusion in The UMC by affiliating with Reconciling Ministries Network.

Says Christ Chapel UMC’s Rev. Benedict Odhiambo: “We are an open-mind, open-heart and open-doors church willing to share the love of Christ with all without discrimination. And this is in line with what the scripture says in 2 Corinthians 5:18 – and all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation.”

Christ Chapel UMC’s decision comes about two years after Moheto First United Methodist Church became the first African Reconciling United Methodist Church. Both churches are located in the southwestern municipality of Migori.

Reconciling Ministries Network Executive Director Jan Lawrence says: “Christ Chapel UMC has taken an important step for the visibility of the Reconciling movement in Kenya. At Reconciling Ministries Network, we are thrilled that they have chosen such public witness for the empowerment and encouragement of LGBTQ people everywhere and especially in Kenya.”

The following is the text of Christ Chapel UMC’s welcoming statement. All Reconciling Churches and Communities must adopt a welcoming statement:

We, the Christ Chapel United Methodist Church – Oyani, declare ourselves a Reconciling Church within The United Methodist Church in Kenya. We believe all people are recipients of God’s love and grace, and that God intends the church to be a community that embodies love, grace, and justice for all people. As a sign of faithfulness to God’s covenant with all humankind, we believe that God intends for us, as part of the Christian community, to celebrate diversity and to welcome and accept all people as members of the household of faith. As an expression of Christ’s inclusive love, we affirm the wholeness of all people, and we hope to bring reconciliation to all people within our congregation and community.

We celebrate God’s gift of diversity and value the wholeness made possible in community equally shared and shepherded by all. We welcome and affirm people of every gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, who are also of every age, race, ethnicity, physical and mental ability, level of education, and family structure, and of every economic, immigration, marital, and social status, and so much more. We acknowledge that we live in a world of profound social, economic, and political inequities. As followers of Jesus, we commit ourselves to the pursuit of justice and pledge to stand in solidarity with all who are marginalized and oppressed.

We welcome and affirm people of all tribes to worship at Christ Chapel United Methodist Church – Oyani and to be a part of our church family.

Living into its shared baptismal covenant, Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) equips and mobilizes United Methodists to resist evil, injustice, and oppression as we seek justice for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. RMN envisions a renewed and vibrant Wesleyan movement that is biblically and theologically centered. As committed disciples of Jesus Christ, RMN strives to transform the world by living out the Gospel’s teachings of grace, love, justice, and inclusion for all of God’s children.

For more information, contact:

Ophelia Hu Kinney, Director of Communications
Reconciling Ministries Network
Email: ophelia@rmnetwork.org